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Feb 25th
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With all of this talk of impending war, many of us will encounter "Peace Activists" who will try to convince us that we must refrain  from retaliating against the ones who terrorized us all on September 11,  2001. These activists may be alone or in a gathering and most of us don't  know how to react to them. When you come upon one of these people, or one  of their rallies, here are the proper rules of etiquette:

   1. Listen politely while this person explains their views. Strike  up a conversation if necessary and look very interested in their ideas.  They will tell you how revenge is immoral, and that by attacking the people  who did this to us, we will only bring on more violence. They will  probably say many arguments, ranging from political to religious to humanitarian.

   2. In the middle of their remarks, without any warning, punch them  in the nose.

   3. When the person gets up off of the ground, they will be very  angry and they may try to hit you, so be careful.

   4. Very quickly and calmly remind the person that violence only  brings about more violence and remind them of their stand on this matter.  Tell them if they are really committed to a non-violent approach to  undeserved attacks, they will turn the other cheek and negotiate a solution. Tell  them they must lead by example if they really believe what they are saying.

   5. Most of them will think for a moment and then agree that you are  correct.

   6. As soon as they do that, hit them again. Only this time hit them  much harder. Square in the nose.

   7. Repeat steps 2-5 until the desired results are obtained and the  idiot realizes that he or she is making a stupid argument.
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